


Celare

by NikMaxwell



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 22:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16503884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikMaxwell/pseuds/NikMaxwell
Summary: “Who’s your favorite superhero?”“You. You saved me.”Sana freezes.What is the right response to that? Thank you for saving me, too?“You’re welcome.”





	1. Conceal

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an idea for a crack fic based on how Sana thought she had a useless power in the Signal MV because she wasn’t really invisible. Then it got serious, and now I’ve started my first angst fic. Yay? Enjoy?

Sana has this trick. She does this whenever she decides against a choice that would have made her happy.

 

It isn’t a groundbreaking idea nor an infallible one at that. She simply tells herself that it’s all for the best. She keeps doing this until she believes it.

 

It is _not_ a good trick.

 

Still, it’s better than nothing, so that’s what she does when she drops out of the Academy.

 

She tells herself it’s for the best because there’s nothing that should make her think otherwise. If anything, she thinks she should have done this sooner. She should have known better than to waste the past 17 years of her life trying to develop her powers.

 

The Academy is for people with super abilities that can actually help others, not for weirdos like her.

 

On the bright side, she’s pretty good at academics. She figures she’d do well in a regular high school. So what if her dreams of becoming a superhero didn’t work out? It’s not as if it’s her fault that her so called “gift” isn’t exactly useful.

 

She knows it’s a lost cause, so Sana packs her bags, moves into another city, and tries to fit into a world she hopes would be kinder to her than the last. Her powers absolutely—for the lack of a better word—suck, so maybe being normal would actually be an upgrade.

 

Her new school is not that different from the one she left, really. It has the same strange faces and dull halls and boring classes, except this time, everyone doesn’t have to spend after-school hours training for something that isn’t even gonna happen for Sana.

 

Still, she knows she doesn’t have to use any supernatural ability just to help someone out. That’s why even now, she does small acts of kindness. Occasionally, she branches out to not-so-small acts like helping this one girl in school when she’s getting bullied.

 

Sana is no stranger to this kind of incidents. One would think that people who want to save the world wouldn’t do such cruel and petty acts, but Sana guesses there is still villains in everyone, even superheroes in training.

 

Here, she’s just Sana, but back in the Academy, she was that weird kid with the questionable gift. She knows how it feels to be an outcast, so whenever the girl, Nayeon, gets pranked, Sana helps her out. When the girl sits alone at lunch, Sana sits on the furthest corner of the same table. When the girl doesn’t get picked for pair work, Sana lets herself be Nayeon’s partner by default.

 

It’s not much, but it’s way more than what Sana had when she was in the same awful situation.

 

Well, Sana did have Mina. Ah, Mina, the only person Sana missed ever since she left, the only person Sana considered a friend—until Sana realized that Nayeon is also her friend now, that is.

 

This realization only comes to Sana one night in the school library. They just finished their pair work, and Nayeon was about to leave, but before turning away, she places an umbrella on the table in front of Sana.

 

When Sana voices out her confusion, Nayeon looks back, and instead of explaining, she asks, “Do you have an umbrella?”

 

Sana blinks. “No…”

 

Nayeon nods once. “I thought so. It’s raining outside, and I always see you walking in the rain, so take it.”

 

It is true that Sana never does anything to shield herself from the rain when it pours. She’s hoping that this would help her conjure a force field or make herself intangible since some powers only start showing or get strong enough in times of need. Unfortunately, after the countless times that Sana ended up drenched, her powers are still missing in action. She didn’t think anyone would care enough to notice this though.

 

Usually, it’s her who thinks about other people’s sake, so it was unusual for Sana to have someone who cares about her well-being.

 

“But what about you? Do you have another umbrella?”

 

“I’ll be fine. My jacket can take it.” With that, Nayeon turns around again, but Sana holds her back.

 

“No, wait, just use it,” Sana says, standing up before handing Nayeon the umbrella. “I’m gonna be here for a while. The rain will probably stop before I go back to our dorm.”

 

“It’s gonna rain all night,” Nayeon replies, placing the umbrella back into Sana’s hands. “I already checked the forecast.”

 

“Then let’s walk back together,” Sana decides. “I’ll finish this in my room. Just give me a few minutes to fix my things.” She doesn’t wait for Nayeon to argue and quickly stuffs her things into her backpack. She swings her bag over one shoulder and leads Nayeon out of the library.

 

Nayeon’s umbrella is a bit too small for two, and Sana protests when she notices that Nayeon is holding it so that it is mostly covering Sana.

 

“You’ll get sick!” Sana exclaims.

 

Pointing at the hoodie covering her head, Nayeon says, “I’m okay!”

 

Fed up with Nayeon’s stubbornness, Sana snatches the umbrella from Nayeon’s hand, puts an arm around Nayeon, and pulls her closer, so that they’re both covered from the rain.

 

Sana knows she won’t get sick from the rain, and that the worst that could happen is that she’ll get wet and cold. After all, no matter what their powers are, all Supers don’t get sick like normal people do. Sana figured she might not have a useful power, but at least, she has an impenetrable immune system.

 

However, Nayeon doesn’t, so Sana tries her best to keep her _friend_ dry until they finally reach their dorm. Back in the Academy, the dormitories were tall and wide because every student lives on campus. Here, Sana’s dorm is a small, three-story building because most of the students go home after school.

 

“Do you like studying in the library?” Nayeon asks Sana as they ascend the stairs leading to the second floor where Nayeon’s room is. “You never leave that place with me after doing our work there. I guess I’m more productive there, but I find it easier to do schoolwork when I’m comfortable, so I just study in my room.”

 

“I’d prefer studying comfortably too, but the walls here are thin, and my next-door neighbors aren’t exactly quiet,” Sana explains, frowning at the thought of her inconsiderate dorm mates.

 

“If you want, you can stay in my room when we have pair work. Or even if we don’t. My room is pretty peaceful.” Before Sana can argue, Nayeon holds the girl by the arm and doesn’t let go until they’re in front of Nayeon’s door. “Just remember my passcode,” Nayeon says as she keys the digits in, then looks expectantly at Sana. “Got it?”

 

“Y-yeah, but I don’t wanna impose,” Sana hesitates.

 

“It’s okay, I promise. I really don’t mind it.” Nayeon enters her room and leaves the door open, which Sana takes as an invitation to come inside.

 

As Sana closes the door behind her, she observes, “Your place is neat.”

 

“Neat as in clean, or neat as in cool? Never mind, it’s definitely the first one.” Nayeon answers her own question as she places her bag on her desk and sits on the chair in front of it. When she looks back at Sana, she sees the girl awkwardly standing near the door while hugging her backpack, making Nayeon chuckle and tell her, “Please relax. Make yourself at home.”

 

“Okay,” is Sana’s shy reply. She places her backpack on Nayeon’s bed and takes the room in. There isn’t much to see, really. Unlike Sana’s room filled with clutter, there is barely anything on display in Nayeon’s room. The walls are bare with no posters to cover the plain white paint. There is nothing on her bed apart from a light blue blanket and two pillows. Her dresser is almost empty apart from a hairbrush and a picture frame with what Sana assumes is a family photo. On Nayeon’s desk are a few stacked books and a pen holder. What catches Sana’s attention is the shelf on top of the desk. “Are those comic books?”

 

“Yup,” Nayeon confirms. “Both fiction and non-fiction.”

 

Sana stands up to look closer at the shelf filled with comics. “This is neat as in cool.”

 

Nayeon chuckles again as she watches Sana awkwardly eyeing the books with her hands behind her back. “You can borrow them if you want. Or, you know, at least touch them.”

 

“Thank you,” Sana answers embarrassedly before reaching for one of the books.

 

It isn’t usual to see physical copies of books, not these days when people barely even make paper anymore. People can request for these books in libraries, but these aren’t even on display. Before, libraries used to have rows and rows of shelves filled with books, but now, they’re just filled with rows and rows of tables with built in tablets.

 

The last time Sana held a book made of actual paper in her hands, she was still in the Academy. Mina had a lot of books, including comic books, but Sana has only ever borrowed one comic.

 

“Sure thing. I’m just glad you don’t find it lame.”

 

“Why would I find it lame?” Sana asks as she flips through the pages of a comic entitled ‘Smash.’ “Where did you even get these?”

 

“At an antique store. Sells stuff from the 1900s to early 2000s.”

 

“Really?!” Sana exclaims more than questions. “Where?”

 

“Oh my God, I’m joking.” Nayeon laughs. “I got them online. Like a normal person.”

 

“Ah, of course.” Sana feels her face heat up, wondering what else she might do to make herself even more embarrassing. “Must have cost a fortune to have these on paper.”

 

“I have some money I saved from doing a lot of part-time jobs instead of joining clubs back in middle school. Just basic programming stuff.”

 

“And you choose to spend them on these, huh?”

 

At that, Nayeon frowns. “Why not? I like doing it. These books take my mind off things. If you were me, you’d pay anything to escape your life even just for a little while.”

 

“Sorry, I hope you didn’t take that the wrong way,” Sana apologizes. “I think it’s good to have something that makes you feel so good you’d work hard for it,” she adds before gesturing towards the book she is holding. “I can borrow this, right? I know how it feels to want to run away from everything sometimes.”

 

“Sure,” Nayeon approves then adds, “and if it makes you feel any better, this can be your escape now, too.”

 

* * *

 

It does make Sana feel better, having Nayeon in general.

 

This kind of friendship is unfamiliar to Sana. She had Mina at the Academy, but the girl wasn’t training to be a superhero. Along with four others, she designs gadgets and suits for the Supers. Thus, Mina mostly stayed in her lab while Sana was training.

 

On the other hand, Nayeon is constantly around. They had most of their classes together and sat together at lunch. After school, Sana stays in Nayeon’s room not only to study but also to hang out when they have no schoolwork to do.

 

Over a short time, it got easy for Sana to be casual with Nayeon. She makes Sana feel at ease, comfortable enough to just lie in bed with her while talking about all kinds of things.

 

“Who’s your favorite superhero?” Sana asks Nayeon. She wonders why she’s never asked this question earlier, considering that she’s known about Nayeon’s interest for a while.

 

“You,” Nayeon answers without missing a beat. “You saved me from my loneliness and my cynical, alarmingly negative thoughts about humanity.”

 

Sana freezes.

 

What is the right response to that?

 

_Thank you for saving me, too?_

 

_Now that you mention it, here’s a funny story: I actually am supposed to be a superhero?_

 

“You’re welcome,” is what Sana settles on.

 

“What about you? Do you have a favorite so far?”

 

Sana doesn’t have to think before answering. “Uhi.”

 

Confused, Nayeon blinks. “Umm, which book is that from?”

 

“I read about her somewhere else,” Sana explains, recalling what she read from that one comic she borrowed from Mina. “There was a tsunami back in 2068 that hit an island called Niihau. If she hadn’t made the island disappear as the waves came crashing in, it would have been wiped off the map and disappeared forever.”

 

“Oh, so her power is invisibility.”

 

Sana nods. “Uhi means cover in Hawaiian.”

 

“That’s cool,” Nayeon remarks. “I can’t believe I’ve never heard about that. Singlehandedly making an entire island disappear? I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”

 

 _I can_ , Sana thinks with a light sigh. “It was pretty awesome. It’s a very small island with very few people though. Probably why no one really cares that much about it.”

 

“I still think it’s incredible. It sucks that nowadays people think that kind of stuff is irrelevant.”

 

“Yeah, well, there’s a reason why they call it ‘superheroes’ not ‘above-average-heroes,’” Sana says bitterly, wishing she could have been better.

 

“If you were a superhero, what powers do you want to have?”

 

“Same as Uhi’s,” Sana responds. She could have had those powers if only she had successfully developed them, but then again, she wouldn’t be here if she had. A moment passes, and Sana realizes Nayeon is staring at her in silence. “What?”

 

“Oh, I was waiting for you to make a dramatic comment about wanting to be invisible.”

 

Sana shakes her head. “I’m not gonna do that. I just think it would be great.”

 

“What would you call yourself?” Nayeon questions further.

 

“Only relevant superheroes need aliases,” Sana says instead of answering the question. “There are so many existing superheroes, and all the good names are already taken, so it’s kinda pointless to think about what you’d call yourself if you’re not sure you’ll even earn the right to call yourself anything.”

 

“It’s a hypothetical question, dude,” Nayeon says, elbowing Sana. “You’re no fun. Lighten up!”

 

Sana rubs her arm where Nayeon hit her before throwing the question back. “Well, if you’re so fun, what’s the name of your superhero alter-ego?”

 

“Pretty Girl,” Nayeon answers quickly. “It means pretty girl in English.”

 

Sana laughs. “So your ability is being pretty?”

 

“Exactly,” Nayeon confirms. “Do you know how much power there is in being attractive? I mean, okay, I guess you would have an idea.”

 

“Are you saying you find me attractive?” Sana grins.

 

“I’m saying you can go to school without being bullied for being weird,” Nayeon answers sadly.

 

 _If only you knew_ , Sana thinks as she looks at Nayeon. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

 

“I just want to look in the mirror without hating what I see,” Nayeon continues. She grabs a lock of her curly hair before speaking, “I just hate this stupid, ugly hair—“

 

“ _Messy_ hair,” Sana corrects.

 

“—and these stupid, ugly eyebrows—“

 

“You mean _voluminous_ ,” Sana offers.

 

“—and these stupid near-sighted eyes—“

 

“You can wear contacts,” Sana suggests.

 

“—and this—wait, you don’t like my glasses?” Nayeon consciously pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she looks at Sana expectantly.

 

“Nayeon,” Sana starts, meeting the other girl’s gaze. “I like you and your glasses and your eyes and your face and your everything. I like seeing you. I like being with you. I like knowing that at the end of the day I’ll get to be around you and just you.”

 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything for a while, and Sana is about to apologize for saying too much when—

 

“I like you, too.”

 

* * *

 

For Sana, letting Nayeon know about her powers wasn’t a question of whether to do it or not. It was only a matter of how and when.

 

Apparently, the answer is ‘ _suddenly_ ’ and ‘ _out of the blue_ ’ respectively.

 

“You’re _translucent_ ,” Nayeon says simply and calmly, after a few seconds of staring at Sana’s body. She still hasn’t moved from her spot near her bedroom door where she was standing when Sana abruptly said, ‘ _I have something to show you,_ ’ then turned… translucent without any further warning.

 

“I should be invisible, but I’m not powerful enough to do that, so yes, I’m translucent,” Sana confirms before turning her body back to normal then sitting on the edge of Nayeon’s bed. “People have been using that word to describe me before I even knew what it meant. Or how it’s spelled.”

 

Nayeon walks closer until she’s in front of Sana. “So… you’re an actual superhero.”

 

“I’m not,” Sana disagrees. “I’m a reject.”

 

“You save people. Isn’t that what superheroes do?”

 

“I never saved anyone.”

 

“You saved me,” Nayeon reminds Sana. “I already told you that before, didn’t I?”

 

“You know what I mean.” Sana lets out a sigh before lying her back on the bed and covering her face with her hands. “I just wish I could turn invisible.”

 

“Me, too,” Sana hears Nayeon say softly, then feels the bed dip next to her.

 

Sana removes her hands from her face to look at Nayeon. “Celare.”

 

“What?” Nayeon looks back at her, puzzled.

 

“That’s what I would call myself if I were a superhero,” Sana elaborates. “It means conceal, hide.”

 

“That’s cool,” Nayeon comments. “Would have been cooler if no one can see you.”

 

Sana chuckles. Nayeon never fails to make her do that. “Yeah, if only.”

 

* * *

 

When Sana told Nayeon about her secret, she just really wanted Nayeon to know about it.

 

That’s it.

 

What she didn’t expect was for Nayeon to think about ways to strengthen her powers.

 

“So ideally, you should be able to turn invisible, yes?” Nayeon asks as she paces back and forth in her room.

 

“And intangible,” Sana begins enumerating as she sits on the bed and follows Nayeon with her eyes. “And make other things invisible or intangible. And conjure force fields.”

 

“And in the Academy, students with underdeveloped powers are exposed to high levels of stress for them to use their powers better, like leaving someone in the desert to force them to use teleportation,” Nayeon recalls from Sana’s stories. “This didn’t work for you, right?”

 

“If it did, I wouldn’t be here.”

 

“Well, what if the opposite would work for you? What if the reason why you can’t unleash your full powers is because you’re too stressed?”

 

Sana narrows her eyes. “I don’t think it works that way.”

 

“I know. It’s just a dumb theory of mine. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try.” Nayeon concurs. She stops pacing and sits next to Sana. “What relaxes you?”

 

“I… don’t know,” Sana responds sluggishly. “I mean don’t you think I’m already chill by the default?”

 

Nayeon chortles and nods. “True, but like, when do you feel most at peace? When do you feel a calm so comforting that you wish you could just stay like that forever?”

 

“Right now,” Sana answers easily. “I feel that way when I’m alone with you.”

 

“O-oh,” Nayeon stutters. She clears her throat before lifting both her legs onto the bed, crossing them as she faces Sana. “Then show me the best that you can do.”

 

“Okay,” Sana says as she mirrors Nayeon’s position and rolls up the sleeves of her jacket. She concentrates on her right hand, and one by one, she makes all her fingers disappear completely then her palm. “That’s the best I can do so far. I can only make my hand invisible if I focus all my powers on it.”

 

“And you’ve never done anything more than that?”

 

“Hmm, I made a pen disappear once, but I don’t know if I can do it again.”

 

This makes Nayeon stand and get a pen from her table, handing it to Sana as she sits in front of the girl. “Try it now.”

 

Sana tries but fails, only managing to make part of the pen disappear at a time. She lets out a sigh of defeat, but Nayeon takes her unoccupied hand.

 

“You can do it,” Nayeon encourages. “Just relax.”

 

Sana takes a deep breath and focuses on the pen in her hand. Still, nothing happens except—

 

“Whoa,” Sana hears Nayeon whisper, making her look up from the pen and see that Nayeon’s attention is somewhere else. When she follows Nayeon’s line of sight, she sees that the girl is looking at her own hand, or rather the lack of it.

 

It turns out that Sana made Nayeon’s hand invisible without even realizing it. Sana doesn’t understand it. The last time she made a pen disappear, she felt like she might faint in exhaustion. She even has to exert so much effort in making her own hand disappear, but this… She’s doing this like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Are you scared?” Sana feels the need to ask this though she can’t see any sign of fear in Nayeon’s face.

 

“No, I don’t think it’s scary,” Nayeon answers, not looking up from where her hand is supposed to be. “It just feels strange because I know my hand is there, but I can’t see it. I mean, it’s still there, right?”

 

“It is,” Sana verifies with a smile, rubbing her thumb over Nayeon’s. “You feel that?”

 

“Mhm,” Nayeon grins, finally looking up at Sana. “Great. It’s still there.”

 

“It’s still there,” Sana repeats, then brings Nayeon’s hand to her lips before she realizes what she just did.

 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything, and Sana takes that as a sign to let go of her hand.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sana utters lowly and thinks that this would be a really great time for her powers to come out because she would really like to disappear right now.

 

“What? Why? You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the idiot who’s getting flustered over you kissing my damn hand.”

 

Only then did Sana had the courage to look at Nayeon’s face and observe that her cheeks are a bit pink. “Would you have liked it better if I kissed you somewhere else?” She jokes, but it only makes Nayeon more flushed.

 

“What? What kind of question is that?” Nayeon squeaks nervously. “B-besides, it’s not like you’re ever gonna do that.”

 

Sana blinks. “I’m not?”

 

“Well, I mean, why would you?” Nayeon asks with a sad smile. “Let’s be real. I’m not really much to look at. Who would ever want to kiss someone like me?”

 

“I do,” Sana replies. “There are times when I would catch myself looking at you, wanting to kiss you, and wondering if you’d ever let me.” Instead of replying, Nayeon looks down and avoids Sana’s stare, making Sana ask, “Did I say something wrong?”

 

“No, I just…” Nayeon trails off without raising her head. “I’m finding it hard to believe anyone would look at me that way when I’ve spent most of my life thinking nobody would even bother looking at me.”

 

Sana swallows in an attempt to ease the heaviness in her chest as she thinks about how Nayeon sees herself. She wishes there is something she could do to make Nayeon realize just how beautiful she is, but words already failed her, and she can’t think of anything else to say.

 

So Sana guides Nayeon by the chin until they’re facing each other.

 

Then, she leans in.


	2. Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you realized that this is a Signal!Sana x WIL!Nayeon fic, you get a cookie.
> 
> Enjoy.

Some things happen in an instant.

 

It can be something that comes out of nowhere, surprising you with its presence, overwhelming you so badly you don’t know what to do about it. You can’t explain where it came from and how it got there, but all you know is now it’s there, and you have to deal with it.

 

This is how Sana fell in love.

 

Sana doesn’t know much about relationships. It’s a given that she has no experience in romance, but she has little knowledge on relationships with others in general.

 

She remembers practically nothing about her parents since they passed away when she was twelve and were never home when they were alive since both of them were Supers. Her father had super speed while her mom had super strength, and in their last heroic act, they saved a lot of people during a massive earthquake. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to save themselves, so Sana had to grow up inside the Academy instead of a home.

 

Having Mina was the closest thing that Sana had to having a family, and it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. They’ve never fought about anything and took good care of each other. The relationship she had with Mina can be considered intimate but platonic, unlike the one she now has with Nayeon.

 

“I didn’t know you were the affectionate type,” Nayeon comments as Sana wraps her arms around the former’s waist.

 

Truthfully, Sana didn’t know that either. She figured she’d be more awkward about this whole thing considering how clueless she is, but somehow everything with Nayeon had been easy so far.

 

For them, being this close feels natural, and it shows in the way Nayeon leans further back as Sana rests her chin on Nayeon’s shoulder. Sana sighs in contentment (even if it’s not the most comfortable position since they’re sitting on separate chairs in front of Nayeon’s desk) and peeks at what Nayeon is typing on her laptop as she replies, “What are you talking about? I’m just practicing. I’m trying to make your whole body disappear.”

 

Sana starts peppering Nayeon’s left cheek with kisses, making Nayeon ask, “And the kisses are also part of it?”

 

“Yup,” Sana answers with a giggle. “I can’t cover your entire body with mine. I’m trying to make your face disappear with my lips.”

 

“You’re cute,” Nayeon comments as she looks away from her laptop to face Sana. “And distracting.”

 

“Oh, sorry,” Sana apologizes as she leans back against her own seat.

 

At that, Nayeon pouts. “Who told you to stop?”

 

“You have work to do, Nayeonnie,” Sana reminds her… girlfriend? Not-girlfriend? They haven’t talked about that yet, so Sana isn’t sure.

 

“I’m multitasking,” Nayeon argues. “I’m studying _and_ helping you with your powers.”

 

“But I don’t wanna distract you.”

 

“It’s fine, I promise,” Nayeon insists. She pulls Sana’s arms so she can put them back around her waist.

 

Before she can get back to work, however, Nayeon feels Sana pulling her back. “Come here,” Sana says as she pulls Nayeon to sit on her lap. She pushes Nayeon’s computer chair away, so she can wheel her own in front of Nayeon’s laptop, then puts her arms back around Nayeon. “Better?”

 

Sana feels more than she hears Nayeon laugh as she presses her cheek against Nayeon’s back. “Better,” Nayeon answers before returning her focus to her schoolwork.

 

Indeed, everything is better with Nayeon, and Sana couldn’t wish for anything more. She only wishes that she never has to lose what she already has.

 

* * *

 

Some things happen in an instant.

 

It can be something that you’ve been waiting for in a time so long that you’ve given up on it. You’ve already lost hope, but then it comes out of the blue just when you least expect it.

 

This is how Sana got her powers.

 

Sana has no idea when it started. All that she remembers is the first time she noticed it.

 

She has just woken up from the third (fourth? eighth?) time she “accidentally” fell asleep in Nayeon’s room, and she slides out of the bed as carefully as superhumanly possible.

 

It’s still more than two hours before their first class, Sana discovers when she checks the time on her phone, so she figures she should slip out and let Nayeon’s alarm wake the girl up. She stretches to wake herself up a bit more, then walks towards Nayeon’s dresser so she can see herself in the mirror and make sure she looks decent enough to walk on the dorm corridors.

 

The problem is she can’t check her reflection if it isn’t there.

 

At first, Sana thinks maybe she’s just dreaming or maybe her eyes were just playing tricks on her. After all, she finally sees her reflection just fine a few blinks later.

 

However, her power continues to appear at random times, so Sana really can’t deny that it’s there. Out of nowhere, strange things happen to her like suddenly dropping things because her hand vanished or suddenly tripping because her foot disappeared into the ground. There was even a time when Sana woke up under her own bed, and since she normally sleeps very still, the logical explanation is that her whole body somehow went through the bed while she was sleeping.

 

Thankfully, no one has noticed anything even after all of these incidents. Sana knows she’s already pushing her luck as it is though, so she skips her classes when she can and tries not to go out of her room unless it’s absolutely necessary. If no one is around to see her whenever her powers appear, then no one will discover that she has it.

 

What upsets Sana the most about this situation is that one of the people that she has to keep this from is Nayeon. She cuts their after-class hangouts short, especially the part where she practices her magic, because it’s not about making her powers appear anymore. Now, it’s about not making them show, so Nayeon won’t find out.

 

(She even starts holding Nayeon’s hand less after that one time her hand became invisible while Nayeon was holding it. Fortunately, it didn’t disappear completely. That would have been hard to explain.)

 

Instead of spending time with Nayeon, she spends more time on her own, trying to practice controlling her powers, and although she is making progress, she can’t seem to be happy about it because she misses Nayeon terribly.

 

The solution to all of this, of course, is to tell Nayeon everything. Sana knows it’s what she should do, but she doesn’t know how she ever could.

 

Telling Nayeon would mean talking about what’s going to happen next, which is Sana going back to the Academy and leaving the best thing she’s ever had in her life.

 

Sana isn’t ready for that yet. Sana doesn’t know if she will ever be.

 

As Sana keeps worrying about not losing Nayeon, however, she fails to realize that she already is.

 

“Do you wanna go to the park this weekend?” Nayeon asks as they walk up the stairs to her room.

 

“Park? What park?”

 

“The Haven.”

 

Sana narrows her eyes, stopping behind Nayeon who’s unlocking her bedroom door. “Isn’t that far?”

 

“A hundred and eight miles away actually,” Nayeon says precisely. She walks inside her room, and Sana follows. “It’s quite far, but it’s the nearest one, and you don’t have to worry. I’ll buy us bullet train tickets.”

 

Sana can’t remember the last time she’s been to a park. There is a greenhouse inside the Academy as well as a forest behind it, which are both useful for students with nature-related abilities. She hasn’t seen a single tree nor any kind of plant since she left, however.

 

(Sometimes, she wonders how the world was like back when it was a greener, back when the main concern of superheroes were villains, not natural disasters.)

 

Going to the park seems like a blissful idea for Sana. She finds it more and more wonderful the more she imagines it—Nayeon’s hand in Sana’s as they walk and breathe in the smell of flowers and grass mixing in the fresh air, Nayeon’s lips against Sana’s cheek as they lie down under the trees with branches swaying with the cool breeze, Nayeon’s head on Sana’s shoulder as the former dozes off on the train ride home.

 

Theoretically, that could be the perfect date.

 

Realistically, it could turn out to be the worst.

 

Sure, the garden is quite relaxing, but Sana is highly uncertain about how well she’ll be able to keep calm in a foreign place full of strangers. She’s getting better at controlling her powers, but for all she knows, she might accidentally make a tree disappear. Sana figures the anxiety won’t do anything to help control it either, so she knows she has to decline no matter how badly she wants to be with Nayeon.

 

“That’s a great idea, but maybe we can go somewhere closer and with a bit more privacy?” Sana suggests as she sits on the bed while Nayeon is lying down.

 

Nayeon lets out a tired, disappointed sigh. “What, like my room? We’re always here, Sana. We never go out of campus.”

 

“That’s not true,” Sana disagrees. “We eat out and go out for movies all the time!”

 

“All the time? We haven’t done that in a while.” Nayeon says, sitting up, and Sana is suddenly reminded of how little time they’ve been spending together since her powers appeared. Before Sana can start apologizing, Nayeon continues, “We haven’t gone out in a while, and you don’t even hold my hand anymore. Are you… are you ashamed of me?”

 

“What?” Sana asks in disbelief. “Why would you think that?”

 

“How can I not? You’ve been so distant lately.” Nayeon pulls her legs to her chest, and Sana feels like her stomach is tied in knots. “I don’t know if you got bored of me or if you got tired of me and you finally came to your senses about dating the ugliest girl in school, but please stop avoiding me. Please just tell me. I swear I’ll understand.”

 

“No, you don’t. You _don’t_ understand.” Sana’s face feels hot, and her chest feels heavy. She can feel the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, too. She tries to hold them back, but her voice cracks as she asks, “You really think that’s how I feel for you?”

 

“You don’t like me anymore,” Nayeon replies, with her eyes meeting Sana’s. “That’s what I think.”

 

“You know what? You’re right.” Sana starts, and Nayeon flinches. After one deep breath, Sana continues by confessing, “I don’t like you anymore because I’m in love with you. I love you so much, and I have never been more scared in my life. I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared of screwing this up.”

 

As Sana pours these words out, the same happened with her tears, and she wipes them clumsily as she keeps her head down, terrified to know how Nayeon is going to respond.

 

“So that’s what it was?”

 

“What?” Sana asked, confused.

 

“You’re feeling all of this for me even if you’ve only known me for a while, and you think we’re going too fast, so you’re pulling away,” Nayeon elaborates. “Is that it?”

 

Sana wants to say that that wasn’t it. Sana wants to tell Nayeon the truth. Sana knows Nayeon deserves to know the truth, that the way she’s been acting lately has nothing to do with Nayeon and everything to do with herself, and yet—

 

“Yes,” Sana lies through her teeth. “There’s no harm in taking things slow, right?”

 

“Right,” Nayeon nods. “I’m sorry for saying everything I said. I was just really worried.”

 

Sana couldn’t feel any guiltier. Everything is Sana’s fault, but Nayeon is still the one apologizing. Nayeon is too pure, and Sana is too weak, which is exactly why Sana feels so much for her, too much to tell her that she has to leave her. “Nayeon, I’m the one who needs to apologize.”

 

“No, you’re right. We should take things slow.” Nayeon reaches for Sana’s hands and gives her a weak smile. “We have all the time in the world.”

 

* * *

 

Some things happen in an instant.

 

It can be something that you have to do suddenly, without thinking much about it because you know that if you do, you definitely won’t ever get through with it. You opt to do it quickly, thinking that it will hurt less if you do it that way, like ripping off a band aid, only to realize that in the end the pain is just the same.

 

This is how Sana left.

 

She spent hours and hours trying to figure out the best way to break it to Nayeon. She made a million plans inside her head, and each scenario somehow ends in the same way. No matter how she’d tell Nayeon, Sana knows exactly what the girl would say.

 

Nayeon would tell Sana to leave.

 

For Sana, that is the worst part.

 

For Sana, that is the part that makes all of this so difficult.

 

For Sana, that is the part that makes it impossible to leave.

 

When Nayeon offered to help Sana with her powers, Sana didn’t think it will actually work. Sure, she liked the idea of reaching her full capacity, but she never gave much thought about what’s gonna happen after that, especially not after she got so close with Nayeon.

 

She thought the best case scenario was that she’ll develop her powers little by little, but instead, her full powers appeared just like that, and Sana doesn’t know what to do.

 

Sana knows that if they part, Nayeon would have it just as hard as her. Sana knows Nayeon won’t mention that if she ever confesses about her powers. Sana knows that Nayeon will tell her to do the right thing. Sana knows that Nayeon will tell her that everything is going to be alright. Sana knows Nayeon will tell her all of these because Nayeon is too good and that’s what Sana loves the most about her.

 

Sana _loves_ Nayeon.  She can’t look Nayeon in the eye and bid her goodbye when she’s the one thing Sana doesn’t want to lose.

 

Then, she realizes she can choose not to.

 

Before she can change her own mind, Sana writes down all the thoughts and feelings and secrets she’s been harboring for weeks, leaves the long letter on Nayeon’s bed, and does the one thing she’s been desperately trying to do her entire life.

 

She disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I’m writing a multi-chaptered fic just so I could use the phrase “as superhumanly possible.”


	3. Heal

The life of a superhero is not glamorous, Sana thinks as she reaches overhead to wipe a dusty shelf.

 

Granted, she did choose to spend her Friday night like this even if there are a lot of other things she could do that would be more exciting than wiping dust off of books she doesn’t even own. It’s not that she’s too tired to go out with her friends, either. Somehow, she’s simply contented with passing most of her free time inside this spacious but cluttered lab, cleaning up while listening to slow, indie R&B songs softly playing from the other side of the room, enjoying the calm atmosphere while there’s no one else around except—

 

“Mina?” Sana hears someone call out before seeing them enter the room.

 

“Hey, Chaeyoung,” Sana greets, reaching to put a book back on the shelf after she’s finished wiping it.

 

“Hi, you’re… dirty,” is Chaeyoung’s response with a matching look of disappointment on her face. “I was gonna say ‘ _hi you’re not Mina_ ,’ but that’s not the part that you can do something about.”

 

Sana rolls her eyes, then extends her right arm towards her friend and uses her eyes to point to the black tie hanging around her wrist. “Can you tie my hair up for me? I should have done it before getting my hands dirty.”

 

“I’m in a hurry. Ask your girlfriend to do it.” Chaeyoung refuses. “Where is she anyway?”

 

“I’m here!” Mina exclaims, emerging from the messier half of her workshop concealed by tall metal racks filled with various equipment. It’s where she does her magic, which is designing and inventing weapons and wearables for the Supers. The outer half where they all are now is more of a lounge, with two pull out couches and the shelves with mostly-untouched books that Sana is currently cleaning. “And here are your gloves,” Mina adds, beaming, as she hands Chaeyoung a silver, seemingly metallic pair.

 

“You’re a life saver,” Chaeyoung responds as she takes the gloves from Mina and plants an exaggeratedly loud kiss on the girl’s cheek.

 

“What are those for?” Sana asks, eyeing the gloves.

 

“For protecting my hands from Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung explains, mentioning their friend with super strength. “She crushed my fingers the last time she got excited over seeing a puppy.”

 

This makes Sana smirk and nudge Chaeyoung. “So you guys hold hands now, huh?”

 

“Friends hold hands!” Chaeyoung exclaims defensively.

 

“Mhm,” Sana hums, keeping the teasing look on her face. “And why are you in a hurry? Do you have a date to rush off to?”

 

“We’re just gonna go out for dinner! It’s no big deal, and it’s certainly not a date!” At this point, Chaeyoung is turning pink, and her looking flustered makes Sana laugh.

 

“Keep telling yourself that.”

 

“Don’t listen to Sana,” Mina intervenes, rubbing Chaeyoung’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort the girl. “Just go enjoy your not-date.”

 

“I will, thanks,” Chaeyoung tells Mina with a smile, which turns into a glare when she directs her gaze towards Sana. “Take your wonderful girlfriend out, you idiot! Do you two even remember what the sun looks like?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Sana denies in the same defensive tone that Chaeyoung used earlier.

 

“Keep telling yourself that!” Chaeyoung counters with a smug smile, then quickly exits before Sana can think of a reply.

 

With a huff, Sana returns to what she was doing before Chaeyoung interrupted her.

 

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?” Mina reminds Sana from behind her. “I can just ask anyone with air powers to snap their fingers and make all the dust fly out of the window.”

 

Turning to face Mina, Sana replies, “But can they arrange your books alphabetically?”

 

“I’m sure they can, but they won’t.”

 

“I just like having something to do.”

 

“And you choose to do this?” Mina asks, amused.

 

“Cleaning is relaxing!” Sana defends herself. “And my room is already spotless, so I’m gonna clean your entire lab and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

 

“Okay, cleaning the lounge part, that one I get, but the entire lab? You know my workplace is always gonna be messy no matter how often you clean it, right?”

 

“Perfect. I’ll never run out of stuff to do.” Sana beams, and all Mina can do is shake her head.

 

“Just make sure to shower afterwards,” Mina says before walking closer to wipe some dirt off of Sana’s cheek that Sana didn’t even know was there.

 

Sana’s smile widens at the sweet gesture. “This is why everyone thinks we’re dating.”

 

“No, everyone thinks we’re dating because you’re always here, even on Free Day,” Mina corrects.

 

Every month, the Supers are given a whole day when they're free to leave the Academy and go wherever they want. It's for their own safety, as well as their loved ones’, since being with their non-Super family members often is not going to help maintain their anonymity.

 

Sana hasn't taken much advantage of this, however, and never went out of the Academy on such days.

 

“What, you think I’m planning to stay here tomorrow?” Sana replies, even if that is in fact her plan for the upcoming Free Day.

 

“Well, aren’t you?” Mina raises an eyebrow, and Sana digresses.

 

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”

 

“Yes, you do,” Mina answers shortly, but the way she says it suddenly makes Sana’s heart heavy.

 

They haven’t talked about it since Sana came back. She was hoping they never have to ever again.

 

“You don’t go out on Free Days either, and everyday is your Free Day,” Sana says, trying to ignore the ache in her chest.

 

“You still don’t want to talk about it, huh?” Mina notices. “Hasn’t it been over a year?”

 

“You’re counting?”

 

“You’re not?”

 

“I’m not,” Sana says more harshly than she wants. “I’m trying not to think about it, Mina.”

 

“Doesn’t that just make you think about it even more?” Mina asks. “You don’t have to take my advice, but sometimes you have to stop running to make everything less exhausting.”

 

Sana sighs. She knows Mina is right. She knows she should stop avoiding it and just face the problem, especially since she’s already a year too late.

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready, Mina,” Sana voices out her fear. “What if I’m not?”

 

“Then, come back here,” Mina replies simply. “I’m not going anywhere.” Mina reaches for Sana’s hand with her left and reaches for something on the bookshelf behind Sana with her other hand.

 

Mina hands a book to Sana, and the latter silently reads the title on the cover.

 

_Uhi._

 

“You can give this to Nayeon when you go see her,” Mina explains. “She collects comic books, right?”

 

“Yeah, you remember?” Sana says, surprised, because she’s only ever talked about Nayeon once with Mina, which happened on the day she came back to the Academy. “Wait, I’ve been asking you to give me this and you kept refusing, and now you’re telling me you want me to give it to someone you’ve never met?”

 

“It’s not like she’s some random stranger. She took care of you when I couldn’t. I’d give her anything she wants.” Mina replies, and Sana doesn’t know whether she should feel betrayed or touched. “Besides, you disappeared for a year. I don’t think it would be a good idea to come empty-handed.”

 

For a few moments, Sana just stares down at the book in her hands. She is certain that going would be the right decision, but knowing that is what’s right doesn’t make it any easier to do.

 

“Will you walk me to the train station tomorrow?”

 

If it were any other friend, they would ask Sana why she doesn’t just teleport and question her decision of choosing the longer way of getting to another city because she’s prone to overthinking and will probably opt to go back home before she even gets to her destination.

 

But this is her good friend Mina, another one on the list of people Sana thinks she doesn’t deserve to have, who simply gives her a soft smile.

 

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Having a lot of time to think about what to say and do on the way to Nayeon certainly didn’t help.

 

What do you even say to someone you left out of the blue and didn’t talk to for a year? Now that Sana thinks about it, she just wasted time and simply delayed the inevitable since there is nothing she could say or do that would make things right.

 

When she realizes this, however, she’s already back in her old school, and since she’s here, she figures she might as well see Nayeon, even if she doesn’t find the courage to come up and talk to the other girl.

 

Finding Nayeon doesn’t turn out to be an easy task. At the very least, going around unnoticed wasn’t hard thanks to her invisibility powers, but Sana walked around the campus twice without any luck in finding the girl she’s looking for.

 

When she finally spots Nayeon, she realizes why it was so difficult.

 

Sana sees her walking to their old dormitory, and to say that Nayeon looks different would be a huge understatement. Gone were Nayeon’s thick glasses. Gone were Nayeon’s messy curls.

 

But Nayeon’s smile, that one Sana could easily recognize.

 

Aside from that, Sana can barely find traces of the old Nayeon, _her_ Nayeon, and sure, this new Nayeon is stunning, but all of this still leaves an unsettling feeling in the pit of Sana’s stomach.

 

She tries to focus on the brighter side of things, which is seeing Nayeon looking well and confident and happy. Nayeon is even walking with someone, which is great, because one of the hardest parts of staying away for Sana is the thought of Nayeon being lonely. She is glad that Nayeon found a new friend, someone she’s comfortable enough to laugh with and hold hands with and—

 

_Oh._

 

As Nayeon leans into the stranger, Sana turns away and closes her eyes, wishing that once she opens them, she’ll be back in the Academy where she can forget about seeing anything.

 

Unfortunately, her powers don’t include teleportation or time travel, so Sana is stuck there, thinking about the harsh reality that Nayeon is already with someone else.

 

Sana really, _really_ wishes she stayed home.

 

The next best thing would be going straight home, but Sana is holding the only thing she brought with her aside from the wallet in her pocket, and she decides she can’t go home without leaving it to Nayeon.

 

She watches as the stranger leaves while Nayeon goes inside the dorm. Sana takes one deep breath, then another, and another, and more until her heart is as calm as it could be after seeing the only person she’s ever loved be in love with someone else.

 

Then, she walks up to the familiar building and through the familiar corridors until she reaches a familiar door like she did a thousand times before, only this time she’s invisible and alone.

 

She briefly considers just going inside invisible and leaving the comic book on Nayeon’s desk, but Sana knows Nayeon is inside the room. She knows she can’t leave like that, not after seeing Nayeon up close, so she makes sure no one else is around before turning visible and knocking on the door.

 

Sana decides she’s not gonna leave without saying goodbye, not this time.

 

The door opens, and Sana tries her hardest to fake a smile.

 

“Hi.”

 

The surprise only lasts a moment on Nayeon’s face before she answers, “Hi.” _So far so good,_ Sana thinks, since she’s not getting slapped yet. “Why did you knock? You know my passcode.” Nayeon adds so casually, like Sana was just there yesterday, but— “Never mind. You probably already forgot.”

 

“I haven’t,” Sana opposes. “Look,” she says before reaching for the doorknob, making Nayeon let go, so Sana can pull the door closed. Sana keys in the digits she still has memorized and successfully opens the door.

 

“Hi,” she says again.

 

“Hi,” Nayeon echoes before gesturing towards her room with her head. “Come in before someone sees you. I’m guessing you used your powers to get into the building.”

 

“I did,” Sana confirms as she steps inside the place she never thought she’d be in again.

 

“That means your training is going well, right?” Nayeon asks, and Sana nods. “That’s good,” Nayeon tells Sana with a genuine smile. “ _You_ look good.”

 

“Not as good as you do. I almost didn’t recognize you.” Suddenly, Sana feels conscious about her appearance. She has never felt this way in front of Nayeon before. She has always dressed simply and comfortably, like how she’s wearing a plain red button-down shirt and jeans today with her hair tied up in a high ponytail as always, but now she’s wishing she did something, _anything,_ to make herself look more presentable.

 

“Thanks. I’m glad you appreciate it.” Nayeon gestures towards her dresser with the mirror filled with taped photos before elaborating, “My friends gave me a makeover. They put a lot of work into making this happen.”

 

“You have friends?” Sana asks jokingly, making Nayeon narrow her eyes.

 

“Shut up,” Nayeon says light-heartedly, and Sana laughs as she moves closer to look at the pictures.

 

“Whoa, they’re not imaginary,” Sana teases, earning a slap on the arm. She sees a picture of Nayeon and someone with short hair and glasses that she remembers as the quiet girl they had math class with the previous year. She also sees one with Nayeon sandwiched in a hug with two girls whom she remembers because they’ve bullied Nayeon before. Sana hopes they have actually changed their ways and are real friends to Nayeon now, but that doesn’t prevent her from feeling a pang in her chest at the memory of the things that Nayeon had to go through in the past.

 

That pain is nothing compared to the one she feels when she sees the photo where Nayeon’s lips are pressed against the cheek of the stranger she’s seen Nayeon with earlier, however.

 

“I don’t recognize her.” Sana says about the mystery girl, setting for these words because she doesn’t know what else to say.

 

“She just transferred this year.” Sana waits for further explanation, but Nayeon doesn’t seem to have any.

 

“She kinda looks like me,” Sana observes, and she wonders why the heck she’s still staring at the picture when all she wants to do is forget she ever saw it.

 

“What? No, she doesn’t.”

 

Sana snorts. “Yeah, I’m kidding. She doesn’t look like a total loser like me.”

 

“First of all, you don’t look like a total loser, but I guess she kinda is the most popular girl in school right now.” Nayeon pauses. “I’ve never said that out loud, but now that I did, I’m finding it even harder to believe that she’s actually dating me. _Me._ ” She lets out an amused laugh. “Can you believe it? Who could have guessed that she’d be my first girlfriend?”

 

_Oh._

 

Sana feels an overwhelming feeling she can’t possibly describe. All she knows is that she wants it to go away.

 

How do you even respond after knowing someone you never had completely now belongs to someone else?

 

“She’s very pretty, and I can see that she makes you happy.” Sana doesn’t even know how she managed to say those words, but what made that even hard to say was knowing that those words are all true.

 

“She does,” Nayeon confirms even if she doesn’t have to. Sana already knows with the way that girl makes Nayeon smile that one smile she once reserved only for Sana. “You know how I used to wish I was invisible? When she looks at me, I’m just… really happy that I’m not.”

 

 _Have I ever made you feel that way_? Sana wants to ask, but she bites her tongue.

 

“I’m glad you have her,” she says instead. _Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it,_ Sana tells herself, but she just can’t stop her masochistic self from adding, “You two look great together.”

 

“Thank you, and thank God for that makeover.”

 

“For what it’s worth, the thought that you ever had to change anything about yourself never crossed my mind,” Sana utters sincerely. She used to wonder if she did enough to make Nayeon realize she has always been beautiful, and now Sana knows the answer.

 

For a moment, Sana’s words leave Nayeon silent. She hears Nayeon sigh heavily and sees her cross her arms. “You can’t just be gone for a year, then come back and say things like that.”

 

Seeing this is as good a time as any to apologize, Sana starts with her eyes on the floor, “I know I can’t ever say this enough, but I’m really, really sorry. I shouldn’t have disappeared on you.”

 

“That is your superpower after all,” Nayeon interrupts, and even though it was said with a light tone, it doesn’t make Sana feel any less guilty.

 

“I wanted to stay, Nayeon,” Sana continues. “I was afraid that if I told you face to face, I might never leave.”

 

“Why not? Did you think if you had told me, I would have stopped you from leaving?”

 

“I know you wouldn’t have, but that’s what would have made it so hard. I know it wouldn’t have been any easier for you than it was for me, but I know you would have told me to do the right thing because…” Sana trails off, not knowing how to put what she wants to say into words. She looks up to meet Nayeon’s waiting gaze before concluding, “Because you’re you. How could I ever let go of someone like you?”

 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything in return immediately, and Sana spends that entire minute of silence worrying that she may have said too much. Then, Nayeon finally speaks. “I wish you would have told me all this a year ago, Sana. There were so many things I wanted to tell you. I wish you were here to hear me say all of it.”

 

“I had a lot to say, too. Words I couldn’t write in that letter because I’ve always wanted to say them out loud.”

 

Sana remembers every word she wrote on the letter she left for Nayeon. She recounted how she realized her powers were getting stronger, how she wished she told Nayeon about it sooner, how she wished she could have told Nayeon all of this in person, and how she had to leave before she changes her mind.

 

She didn’t include the part that says how much she knew she was going to miss Nayeon.

 

She didn’t include the part that says how difficult it was to make that decision.

 

She didn’t include the part that explains why a huge part of Sana wants to pretend that she will never develop her powers just so she could spend the rest of her days with Nayeon.

 

She didn’t tell Nayeon that she loved her.

 

“Saying these to each other now won’t make things any better though, would it?” Nayeon says, interrupting Sana’s contemplations as if on cue, like she can somehow hear all of these thoughts inside of Sana’s head.

 

“It wouldn’t,” Sana agrees. “I should go. I think the longer I stay, the harder it will be for me not to let them all out.” She doesn’t know if she wants Nayeon to stop her from leaving, but the other girl just looks as defeated as Sana feels. She remembers the one thing she was supposed to give Nayeon and hands it after saying, “Oh, and this is for you.”

 

The heavy atmosphere slowly dissipates as Nayeon takes the book in her hands and lets out a soft chuckle. Confused, Sana can only watch as Nayeon places it on her desk and pulls out another book from her shelf.

 

When Sana sees the cover, she lets out a short laugh, too.

 

_Uhi._

 

“I bought this after you left,” Nayeon explains before offering the comic book to Sana. “How about a trade?”

 

“Deal,” Sana says as she accepts the book. With that, she has no other reason to stay here, so she says, “It was really nice to see you.”

 

“You, too,” Nayeon replies, and Sana wonders if she actually meant it. “I hope you’re not thinking about leaving without giving me a hug.”

 

The truth is that that’s exactly what Sana was planning to do because she figured she’s handled enough emotional torture for today. Still, she doesn’t want to deny Nayeon of anything, so Sana steps forward and wraps her arms around Nayeon’s shoulders. In return, Nayeon pulls Sana even closer by gripping onto Sana’s shoulders and burying her face into Sana’s neck.

 

As Sana hugs Nayeon, she lets herself pretend that things were different.

 

She lets herself pretend that she’s just an ordinary girl who never left and who will never have to leave.

 

She lets herself pretend that she’s not scared this will be the last time she’ll ever hold Nayeon in her arms.

 

Then, she feels her heart break when she hears Nayeon start to cry.

 

Sana feels Nayeon’s tears against her neck, and she wants to tell Nayeon that she’s sorry, a million times over.

 

She wants to tell Nayeon that she’s the only reason why Sana wishes things were different.

 

She wants to tell Nayeon that she loves her and she always will.

 

But her throat feels as tight as her chest, and sobs come out of her lips instead of the words she wants to say, so Sana just tightens her embrace and pretends that her tears are all she has to let go of in that moment.

 

* * *

 

Sana goes straight to Mina’s lab when she gets back to the Academy. She places the comic book copy that Nayeon gave her on one of the lounge’s bookshelves and decides to leave it there. She finds Mina fast asleep, sitting in front of her computer, and well, that sight doesn’t surprise Sana anymore.

 

It’s practically a routine for her at this point. First, she’ll go to the workshop late at night instead of going to her bedroom. Then, she’ll see a sleeping Mina hunched over her laptop, so Sana will fix up one of the pull-out couches, the one closer to the walls, with the blankets and pillows that Mina left on it because she sleeps here more than she sleeps in her room. (Come to think of it, Sana isn’t even sure if Mina has ever slept in her own room.) Finally, she’ll carry Mina to the couch and lie down next to her, so she can fall asleep while thinking about how Mina is surely going to complain about a sore back when they wake up in the morning.

 

Most of the time, Mina would be sleeping too deeply that she won’t even realize she’s being carried, but there are times like this one when she’d wake up in the middle of it.

 

Sana slips under the covers beside Mina, and with her eyes half-open, the latter murmurs, “You’re back.”

 

“Yup, safe and sound,” Sana says as she turns her body so that she’s facing Mina, then rests her arm on the other girl’s stomach. “Go back to sleep.”

 

Instead of closing her eyes, however, Mina stares at Sana. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

Truthfully, she is too exhausted for this conversation, and not just in the physical sense, but Mina is the only person that Sana would ever talk about this with. “What do you wanna know?”

 

“If you’re gonna be alright.”

 

Sana appreciates how Mina doesn’t bother to ask her if she’s okay because she’s clearly not. She takes a moment to think about the answer to her friend’s question, and it’s the thought of Nayeon being happy and content with what she has right now that makes Sana decide, “Yes, I think I will be.”

 

“That’s all I need to know,” Mina says before giving Sana a small smile and a soft kiss on the forehead. “Good night,” she mumbles, then closes her eyes.

 

Sana shuffles closer to Mina and wonders if she will get to rest tonight. As tired as she was, she’s also thinking too much and feeling too much. It’s ironic, how all of this is keeping her from dozing off, when at the same time, she knows that the only way she could escape all of these thoughts and feelings is by falling asleep.

 

So she squeezes her eyes shut and takes long, deep breaths.

 

She tells herself that it’s okay. She’s not okay, but it’s okay not to be okay. Time will pass, and so will the pain.

 

Someday, she will heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you figured out that Nayeon is dating WIL!Sana (from the Princess Diaries bit), you get another cookie from me.
> 
> You can yell at me @ twitter.com/minamyouwu


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